The Dynamics of Human Behavior: The Art Of Understanding Body Language
Sunday December 24, 2006 by Mitche Graf
Do you remember “flirting” with someone you liked when you were younger? A little smile, a romantic wink, a cute flip of the hair, a slight lean of the body, eyes that could melt an iceberg……. All of that and not a single word had to ever be exchanged. You could tell their true feelings towards you simply by understanding what they were saying through their non-verbal communication. Now that you have to play the role of a grown-up, the same dynamics exist in your business.
Between 60-80% of what we try to communicate to other people is done through our body language, and the rest is attributed to the actual words we use..…. Your ability to read and understand your customer’s body language (as well as to understand your own body language) can mean the difference between making the biggest sale of your life, and not making a sale at all! It’s all part of what we call “non-verbal communication” and in the art of selling your photography it’s a very big part of your success, or failure.
I am 100% convinced that regardless of what type of business you are in, you are in the business of selling, yourself if nothing else. The world revolves around products and services being bought and sold, and whether you like it or not, you are in the business of “selling” as well. This includes having a firm grasp around the fine art of understanding what your customers’ non-verbal messages are telling you. We are in the business of selling “emotion” and your customers’ body language is a dead giveaway to how they are feeling.
Body language occurs unconsciously for the most part, yet the body language we use decides to a large extent the quality of our communication. It follows that therefore it would be good to become conscious of our own body language, as well as others.
Here is the 3-step program I call the “AIM for Success” technique-
1- Absorb every aspect of your customers’ body language from the very contact you have with them. Notice their eyes contact, hands, arms, body angle, voice inflection, and anything else about the language of their body. Being able to successfully observe what is happening around you and your environment is a vital skill in the sales process and can not be taken lightly.
2- Interpret what their body language is saying about how they feel about you, your studio, and the experience they are having. Learning the art of interpretation takes time, but will help make their experience much more fulfilling and your order average larger!
3- Mirror your customer movements as much as you realistically can, which will help build a rewarding and long-lasting relationship with them. It builds trust, helps break down the defensive walls and will show them you are like-minded. This technique is actually fun once you get the hang of it!
Let’s take a look at how you can use these techniques to understand the language of the body….
Eye contact This is one of the most important non-verbal aspects of dealing with customers, especially ones you have just met. Maintaining good eye contact shows respect and a sincere interest in what they have to say. A comfortable amount of eye contact around 60-70% of the time. By doing this you won’t make your customer feel self conscious, like they’ve got pepper flakes stuck between their teeth! Instead, it will give them a feeling of comfort and genuine warmth in you and your studio. Any more eye contact than this and it can be interpreted as being too intense, any less and you give off a signal that you are lacking interest in them or their needs.
Head position When you want to appear friendly and in the listening, receptive mode, tilt your head just a little to one side or other. You can shift the tilt from left to right at different points in the conversation. Leaning towards your customer will also signify that you are truly interested in meeting their needs.
Arms Studying and being aware of what your customers’ arms are doing can give you clues to what type of personality type they are. The more outgoing and open they are as a person, the more they will tend to use their arms with big movements. The quieter and more reserved they are, the less motion they will exhibit. So, try to strike a natural balance between the two and keep your arm movements midway.
Angle of the body Interested people usually will lean forward and appear more interested, whereas leaning backwards demonstrates aloofness, boredom or rejection. Make sure that you show interest in them by positioning your body in a positive manner, and pay close attention to what their angles is telling you.
Distance Stand too close and you’ll be marked as “pushy” or “in your face”. Stand or sit too far away and you’ll be viewed as “keeping your distance” or “stand-offish”. Neither are what you ultimately want, so observe how your customer reacts to space and distance. Also notice if you move closer to someone and they back away, you’re probably just a tiny bit too much in their personal space, their comfort zone. It’s all about finding that a balance.
Ears Yes, your ears play a vital role in communication with others, even though most people can’t move their ears much, if at all.(My Uncle Arlo can, but that’s a separate story!) However, you were given two ears and only one mouth for a reason, so try to use them in that order. If you listen twice as much as you talk you come across as a good communicator who knows how to strike up a balanced conversation without being viewed as
An over-aggressive salesperson or a control freak.
Mouth The way you move your mouth can give away all sorts of clues. Your customer may purse their lips or twist them to the side when they are thinking, or when they are making a mental decision. When you smile and talk at the same time it shows excitement, enthusiasm, and most of all passion for your business. When your customer smiles it says that they are actively engaged in the process and you are on the right track.
The bottom line in the entire sales process is this……PEOPLE BUY FROM PEOPLE THEY LIKE! If you can master the techniques of understanding the meaning of your customers’ body language, you will be well on your way to establishing long-lasting relationships with your customers, which is what this game really is all about.
There was a recent survey done on why people purchased SUV’s, and I was very surprised with the results. Amount the top reasons listed were safety, durability, cargo space, towing capacity and power. But the top reason…….they purchased an SUV because they WANTED one!
I think if you were to look at the last several big ticket items that you have purchased, your decision more than likely came down to the fact that you WANTED the item, right? It may not have truly fit any of your needs, but it fulfilled your wants. If we can just figure out how to instill in our customers the same passion, zeal and vigor for our work as we have, their purchasing desire will go through the roof and the dollars will follow.
“Life is lonely at the top, but the lunches are much better.”
