Funny and Weird Wedding Stories
Tuesday May 16, 2006 by Yervant
I was working away when I remembered a very funny situation at a wedding a few years ago, then I started remembering so many, I just sat here laughing … here are a couple.
Going back some 15 years ago, I was photographing a Eastern European Orthodox wedding, my Bride arrived at church fashionably late but there was no groom in sight! Her chauffeur drove around and around and about an hour later; bride walked down the aisle and sat down at the front row. Quiet by all, every one wondering…. Then another half hour later, the Groom arrived, drunk and with a bottle of Johnny in his hand, priest started the ceremony…. and the comedy begun. Groom pulled the priest by the collar and threatened to kill him. Being an Orthodox wedding, the Best man was holding the cross by the couple’s head and…he started hitting the Groom’s head with the cross and telling him to behave. Bride stood there wondering if this was part and parcel of an Orthodox ceremony as she was of catholic background and from a small country town. A lot of colourful language and commotion, all at the altar. Funny thing was that, the guests could not really see or hear what was going on at the front; I witnessed the whole thing, as I was so close up there doing my job. During the signing, Groom scribbled all over the certificate, dribbled all over it and then took his ring off and threw it at me, I ducked, went under the alter, and then it all broke loose, best man punching the groom, Groom punching priest, altar boys. I think they just started hitting each other! The place turned up side down, blood everywhere. As for the bride, apart from wearing a white dress now with red polka dots, she just sat there with a smile. Her parents, much the same, I still wonder what they were thinking!
The entire farce was apparently because the Groom’s friends, including the priest were against this mixed marriage. My fun did not stop there, amongst the crowd, I spotted my forthcoming week’s groom and his best man, white as ghosts (both nice Aussie guys and obviously not of the Orthodox religion, they had come there to experience a Orthodox wedding in preparation for next week when the groom marries his lovely bride), They hurried towards me and asked if they too had to do a performance as such next week, if so, they did not think they could go through with it. I had to laugh but I told them “yeap. They absolutely had to show their manhood to the crowd!!” (By the way, all went well the following week) :)
As for funny customers…. I had an old Italian lady arguing with me that I was cheating her of her enlargement sizes. When she placed her order, she spoke of 20×25 cm and so on, I took the order down in imperial 8”x10” (obvious universal photographic language), when she came to pick up her prints, she noticed that her invoice read 8”x10”, this was not the size she ordered, she insisted that the prints should be 20×25cm. You have no idea how much difficulty I had explaining to this lady that they are exactly the same; the argument was hilarious and very difficult to keep a straight face.
Another funny customer story: Whilst my couple were on honeymoon, the Bride’s father visited me at the studio, requested a very private meeting and asked for some urgent prints from the wedding which he wanted to send to his people back home. No problem I thought, then, he asked me if I could Digitally put some hair on the balding Groom’s head as he did not want the folks in the old town to think his daughter married a BALD man!!
(I told him to wait until his daughter comes back and if she agrees I would do it, it was never discussed again)
On the same topic, I had a bride ask me if I could remove her father’s hat in each photo, I told her I could do that but it will leave a gap on the image, she looked at me as if I was pretty stupid and said “ I just want the hat removed not his head and hair” Doh!
I could go on with some very strange, Funny and Weird Wedding Stories…. How about all of you out there?
Yervant
